How do authors parent and write at the same time?
Mary Shelley, Stephen King and J.K. Rowling must have known a secret
“Enough!” I snapped and closed the lid of my MacBook with an aggressive slam. My kids stood staring at me, unsure of themselves or life or the universe at that moment.
They had been monkeying around me, climbing on me and fighting with each other for the past twenty minutes. Usually this would be fine, but I was trying (and failing) to write a chapter of my current novel-in-progress. They were constantly breaking me out of that much-cherished writer’s trance, known among us writers as “the zone.”
It’s tough being a parent and a writer and a journalist. Their mother works full-time on important contracts and her day is filled with Teams meetings, so it is generally left up to me to care for and entertain the kids. But I’ve got a job, as well.
For starters, I’ve been offered a freelance contributor position with Android Police, for which I’m incredibly excited. I’ve also accepted a freelance contract to produce podcasts for an online learning company. I’ll be finding CPAs and lawyers and interviewing them for the podcast. The pay is phenomenal. Most importantly, I’m committed to finishing the first draft of my historical fiction about Canadians in the Battle of Britain before the summer is out.
But kids make it hard. How do authors do it?
As it turns out, many have.
The single-mom author
J.K. Rowling famously wrote the first Harry Potter on paper napkins at a coffee shop while homeless after fleeing an abusive marriage. This isn’t entirely true. She outlined her ideas on a napkin, but wrote the book on a computer.
However, she did both while caring for her first daughter, Jessica, who was only four or five at the time.
Imagine a single mom, practically destitute, living in shelters, caring for a rambunctious five-year-old, all while creating one of the greatest fantasy epics in human history.
Rowling insists she isn’t anybody special, just a normal woman and mother. I beg to differ and the proof is in the pudding.
Mary Shelley is another of the greatest single-mother authors. She wrote Frankenstein, The Last Man, and Falkner, among others, while raising a little boy. In fact, Shelley had five children, but only one survived into adulthood.
Why is that? Because it was the early 19th Century. This was a time when single women were practically unheard-of, let alone single mothers. Shelley was young, as well. She had her first child at age 16. This was a normal age for marriage and childbirth in those times, and Shelley was married to a 24-year-old man named Percey Shelley. However, poor Percey died five years later when his boat sank in a storm, rendering Mary Shelley a widow and single mother.
This didn’t stop her. Somehow, despite existing in a pre-industrial era with no social supports or an understanding of human psychology, Shelley thrived as an author.
So if a teenaged single mother in the 19th Century can become a world-reknown author, surely I can do it, too, right?
Tell that to my kids.
Dad authors
With the obligatory “you-go-grrrrrl” out of the way, I wanted to look at authors who were also dads, because that is the demographic to which I proudly belong. I love being a dad and I think I’m a damn good one. So what’s the father-author record look like?
Ernest Hemmingway had three children to three different women. He had four wives in his lifetime and four divorces.
Okay, so not a great start. But George R.R. Martin, author of the Game of Thrones series, has two children and is still married to the same woman, Parris McBride. His children are all grown up now, but they were small and rambunctious while he worked on the first Game of Thrones book, which is a massive tome at 835 pages long!
Stephen King is still married to Tabitha, who has supported him all through his career. They have three children together, and all of these children were born during the height of Stephen King’s career, in the 70s and early 80s. By all accounts he has always been a devoted father and husband and has a great relationship with his children.
If Martin and King can become phenomenal published authors while dealing with little kids, surely so can I, right?
So what’s stopping me?
It makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong. If homeless single mothers, teenage moms, busy dads and perpetual bachelors can all write books, surely so can I?
After all, my wife has a great job, we live in a land of plenty (Canada) which, admittedly, is rapidly declining in quality of life before our very eyes but I remain positive it will rebound and we’re still so much better than, say, New Delhi. I have food and a roof over my head and a small cheap apartment.
There it is.
My problem is this apartment is too small. Four of us are crammed into a tiny two-bedroom of less than 600 square feet. There’s no room to write. King, Martin and probably even Shelley all had their own space. King has an entire library/office devoted to his work and it is off-limits to everyone. There are secrets buried in there.
I don’t have such a luxury and the state of the economy in Canada means I won’t for a long time. Until we get new leadership and a competent government, and the corporations who are ruining this country are put in check, I’m going to have to put up with the little whipper-snappers bugging me. I’ll need to find other ways to get “into the zone” and stay there while there’s chaos unfolding around me.
And to my children — I’m sorry in advance. Papa will definitely be snapping at you more in the future, but trust me, it’s all for a worthy cause!